Day 2

My goal is the find the positives about January and my birthday and to separate loss from the gift of life. Someone was telling me recently that too many people take things for granted - not telling people you appreciate them, love them, miss them, when they are there for you, when it's not a chaotic day for a change, etc. In her wise words of wisdom, she told me that at the end of the day me and my kids should sit down and say out loud the things we are thankful for.

For those of you priviledged enough to know my mother, you'll understand when I say she drove me crazy sometimes to the point of insanity; BUT she could also be the most fun person I knew and was almost always there when I needed and times when I didn't even realize I did.

I will start by saying that I am thankful my mother was no ordinary mother (although sometimes ordinary may have been easier to deal with some days).

The last Christmas before she passed, she had been out of work for awhile so most of her gifts were homemade - one of the best gifts my mom passed on to me. My kids and I have had a few "homemade Christmases" over the years, but one learns to be humble and to think about the less fortunate who have less than us. That year she wrote me a peom and placed it in a handmade frame from some material left over from a costume I asked her to make. Like the ungrateful kid I could be, I got angry with her that the costume did not turn out the way I wanted that year and told her just to keep it. The fact that the poem has that material on it will always make me remember that I was selfish and didn't take the opportunity to simply say thank you and appreciate the effort she put forth for me.

My son recently started a once a week job for a little money so that he could start buying himself things that I could not afford to buy him. One day I had placed a little cash in the Salvation Army cans this year even though things were tight for us also. My son brought a tear to my eyes when he saw me give up some cash for the needy and without thinking twice, pulled out his wallet and handed over the only cash he had left to offer. My mom had been known to help people out when it really wasn't in her best financial place to do so. These are those lessons that I was a part of and have thankfully been able to pass on to my children.

For my 24th birthday my mom and I hopped on a standby flight to Vegas. Not that I'm a big partier, but it was definitely not something the average person gets to do with their parent. It was the most spontaneous thing I've done (the biggest difference between her and I - I'm kind of an old fuddy duddy). We got in town by 7p and hung out watching all the live bands play in the hotels on the strip and headed back home then 8 hours later without sleep. I think we only had $60 between the two of us that trip. She was always springing surprise trips on me growing up which usually consisted of packing the car and driving somewhere with no actual plans other than when we needed to be back home. These consisted of many camping trips, cabin stays, out of town or out of state musuems and so on.

So I am grateful that my mother always made things interesting - which included birthdays. I have had some fun ones and some not so fun I will share later. Tomorrow, I am including a copy of the poem she wrote because my mom loved to write and my birthday present to myself this year is to celebrate her life with everyone.

Jewels

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